Thursday, June 24, 2004

Holiday Inn Retirement Plan

And, while we're waiting for the pictures to arrive, ponder this........from my friend John Alexander, with whom I worked years ago at a radio station in Washington.....and who now lives in Charlotte. John is also the author of GHOSTS, Washington Revisited.

My father-in-law just sent me his Senior Care Plan. Sounds so good and logical I thought I'd pass it along. He writes:

"There's no Assisted Living Center OR nursing home in my future. When I get old, I'm checking in at the Holiday Inn!

The average cost for living in one of those nursing home places is at least $188.00 per day. I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. With a combined long-term-stay discount and my senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves me $138.77 a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any restaurant of my choice--or room service and laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, Holiday Inn provides a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

They treat you like a customer not a patient. Five bucks worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to out do each other in providing me service.

There's a city bus stop out front and seniors ride free. To meet other nice people I'll just call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery I'll take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While I'm at the airport, maybe I'll fly somewhere once in a while. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into a decent nursing home. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. It also appeals to me that you're not stuck in one place forever---you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. I may want to see Hawaii one day. There are Holiday Inns there, too.

Broken TV? Light bulbs need changing? Time to replace the mattress? No problem!!! They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person. The maid checks to see if you're okay. If not, she'll call an ambulance or the undertaker.

If I should fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip and Holiday Inn will upgrade my accommodations to a suite for the rest of my life.

And...there are no worries about visits from family. They'll can just check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. If they're under 12 they stay/eat free (just not in my room).

What more can I ask for? Not much. So when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my e-mail to me"