Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Ho Hum

I always look forward to the first couple of weeks of February.  That's when nature whispers in my ear....that "Yes, Virginia boy, there WILL BE a spring!"

At my age, whispers in my ear and being called a "boy" again are usually enough  to bring on an emergency nap.

Without continuing this poor attempt at cleverness any longer, the birds deliver the message.  The same birds that have been around all winter start singing a different song...and NOT because the temperature has risen just a bit, because often our coldest weather arrives around that time. What cues them to turn the page in their hymn books  is the change in the length of daylight.

That's one of the advantages of old age, you have the time to pay attention to stuff like that.

But this year the thrill of knowing that winter is finally over, was a dud.  We didn't HAVE a winter.

Hence, the title of this post.  HO HUM.

That should be the end of this story. BUT NO!

In this age of national insanity, using the word HO is a NO NO.  It's politically incorrect.  Someone might be offended. Imus got fired for using that word.  A producer at ESPN got fired the other day for using the common phrase "chink in the armour" when alluding to the loss of a basketball game featuring a Taiwanese player named Jeremy Lin

It's almost impossible to keep up with what's no longer permissible to say.  So as a public service, I'm beginning a new feature on this website listing words you can no longer say.....and how you can circumvent their use:

FAT is out

Horizontally gifted is in

STUPID is out

Intellectually challenged is in

Tree is out.

oxygen exchange unit is in 


Non-traditional shopper is in          


Prisoner is out

.Guest of the correctional system is in

Wrong is out

Differently logical is in


Midgets is out

Vertically Challenged is in

Oh to heck with it!

Let's just hope sanity returns soon....and the nut cake liberals go away and keep their cotton picking hands off our language.  (Damm, I just gave them another phrase to ban!)