TPMS

It sounds like a disease.

And frankly I think it is.

TPMS Symbol

TPMS is the Mad Cow disease on your dashboard that resulted from a government induced vaccine for a problem that didn't exist.

That unfortunate acronym stands for TIRE PRESSURE MONITORING SYSTEM.

And now, there IS a problem.

(This is working exactly the way the politicians intended for it to. They create problems, so THEY can FIX them.  That way, they will never be out of work!  Get it?)

TPMS were mandated by the government to be on all cars manufactured after 2008. The "Crisis" that the government "didn't want to waste" was the Ford Explorer/Firestone Rollover incidents in 2000 which lead to Congress passing the TREAD act.

Attack of the TPMS light

The problem is it's driving this card carrying member of the  "unwashed masses" crazy.

I suspect I have plenty of company.

Say you're on vacation, driving the family to Myrtle Beach....and suddenly the TPMS indicator lights up on your dashboard.

 You pull over and check your tires. They're fine. All are filled to factory specs. No problem.

Except the indicator light is still on.

And, unless you've memorized the manual, you don't know how to turn it off.

And even if you are totally convinced that nothing is wrong with your tires, I can guarantee that you won't be able to convince your wife...or probably even your kids....

You might as well turn around, and drive to the dealer who sold you the car....because chances are your manual doesn't tell you how to turn the indicator light off, or if it does, it will take hours to find it. (Gas Stations no longer do anything but sell gas....so don't even bother to stop at one to see if anyone there knows how to do it)  At any rate, forget about that totally relaxed, stress free vacation you thought you were going to have.

Even if you continue on with no problems, play with the kids and enjoy the time at the beach  you still have to drive back home.....with the TPMS light staring at you!

You finally take it in to the dealer and discover the problem:

The outdoor temperature fell several degrees the morning you started out......and that changed slightly the pressure in one of your tires and set off the meter (the indicator doesn't tell you WHICH tire, of course.)


Or, in my case, one of my tires HAD actually lost a few pounds of air.

My SPARE tire!

(Yes, that will cause the TPMS indicator to light up too!)

Ed's 1972 Pinto

You know, it's times like these that TPMS makes me WIHMPB.

Wish I Had My 72 Pinto Back.

At least it didn't torture you to death.

All it did was BLOW UP occasionally.

-Ed

Your Government at Work

They Dared Return

Well, wouldn't you know it.

I no sooner finished complaining about the internet forcing videos on you when you'd just rather read the darn story...and now I'm about to do the same thing to you.(maybe I should have been a politician....)

However, In this case, I think you will want to watch the video.

The true story is documented in a book by Patrick K. O'Donnell titled THEY DARED RETURN.

At the height of World War II, with the Third Reich’s Final Solution in full operation, a small group of Jews who had barely escaped the Nazis did the unthinkable: they went back. Spies now, these Americans took on a dangerous mission behind enemy lines This is their story, a tale of adventure, espionage, love, and revenge

Having barely escaped Germany, several Jewish friends are determined to strike back at the Third Reich while several of their families languish in concentration camps. 

After months of training with the U.S. Army, a small group of spies is formed, including several former German soldiers now willing to betray their Fűhrer for the greater good of Germany. 

The men are given a treacherous covert mission behind enemy lines and deep inside the heavily fortified area of Austria’s “Alpine Redoubt,” where Hitler planned to make his last stand. Capture would mean almost certain death; success, a swift end to the war.

But this daring mission was almost scrapped before it began. The problem was finding a way to get these men behind enemy lines. Parachuting them in was the only practical way to do it, but that was considered too dangerous. The Royal Air Force refused to do it as did everyone else, until one American Pilot and his crew stepped up to the plate and volunteered.

That pilot was John Billings and I was honored recently to have him as a guest on my TV show here in Virginia. 






 PS...John is married to the former Barbara Barrett, Central High School graduate, class of 56.

Signs of our Times

-Ed

Asteroid collides with earth wipes out entire population,

 "women and children hardest hit"

That's the way the New York Times headline would read.

Or, the Washington Post or the Charlotte Observer etc.

The reason that joke has been around for as long as it has is because there's so much truth to it.

My email box is full of that kind of stuff every day.   For example, today there was one that shouted "SEVEN COMMON DRUGS THAT COULD KILL YOU TONIGHT!"

Now, I know once I read the rest of the story, it will be the usual  BS.

But, when I click on the link..........instead of reading the message, it opens a 10 or 15 minute video
with some jerk wearing a doctor suit who wants to waste as much of my time as I'll let him.

I know better than to pay any attention to that kind of sales pitch anymore.

But unfortunately, more and more there are genuine news outfits using the same technique.  Once you click on the link, instead of "reading the story".....a TV type "talking head".....reads it to you.

Damm, that's frustrating.

But that's what you get when you live in a society dumbed down to the point where 30% of the adult population can't read.

But they can vote.

Lord help us!

-Ed

Like Father, like ...

...daughter.

Or is it,  "Like Mother, like daughter?"

Well, in this case, it's both!

Congratulations Don and Letty (and Charlotte)!

I predict that Charlotte will become so successful that the mainstream press will soon start spelling Letty's name right!  -Ed

Beautiful Day, Happy to Have Been Here

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Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark

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  - Joe Owen

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Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred's personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy's wife, Sara Morgan Clark. Fred's back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn't abide self important tight *censored*. Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician's outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate. His final wishes were "throw the bums out and don't elect lawyers" (though it seems to make little difference). During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, "he was often wrong, but never in doubt". When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower - on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French - the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don't go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives. No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred's life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information. Fred's ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years. Additionally, all of Fred's friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, "Fred who?"

Published in Richmond Times-Dispatch on July 9, 2006

- See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?pid=18382676#fbLoggedOut

Did you hear about that bizarre obituary that was published in the Reno Gazette  yesterday?

It was about a woman who, according to her six children, spent her life torturing them in every way possible and they are "grateful that she's finally dead."

I'm reminded of the Moms Mabley joke:

"My husband passed away a few years ago and, well uh.....they say you shouldn't say anything about a deceased person unless it's good. So......he's dead. Good."

I assume the Reno Obituary is legitimate. If it's some kind of prank or joke, it sure ain't funny.

But, we live in strange times.


I don't know if it's a trend or not, but I've noticed that more and more obituaries are being written by the deceased (before their death, of course).  One of my favorites was published a few years ago in the Richmond Dispatch:


Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred's personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. 

When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower - on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. 

In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French - the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Additionally, all of Fred's friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, "Fred who?"


And then there is this one: 

One of the few advantages of dying from Grade 3, Stage IIIC endometrial cancer, recurrent and metastasized to the liver and abdomen, is that you have time to write your own obituary. (The other advantages are no longer bothering with sunscreen and no longer worrying about your cholesterol.) 

Jane Lotter

To wit: 

I was born in Seattle on August 10, 1952, at Northgate Hospital (since torn down) at Northgate Mall. Grew up in Shoreline, attended Shorecrest High, graduated from the University of Washington in 1975 with a Bachelor of Arts in History.
 
In my professional life, I was a freelance writer, editor, and proofreader. Among career honors, I received a First Place Society of Professional Journalists award for Humorous Writing for my column Jane Explains, which ran from 1999-2005 in the Jet City Maven, later called The Seattle Sun.

I was preceded in death by my generous and loving parents, Michael Gallagher Lotter and Margaret Anne Lotter (nee Robertson), and by my dear younger sister, Julie Marie Lotter. I am survived by my beloved husband, Robert ("Bob") Lee Marts, and our two adult children: daughter, Tessa Jane Marts, and son, Riley William Marts. Also my dear sisters Barbara Lotter Azzato, Kathleen Nora Lahti, and Patricia Anne Crisp (husband Adrian). And many much-loved nieces and nephews, in-laws, and friends. 

I met Bob Marts at the Central Tavern in Pioneer Square on November 22, 1975, which was the luckiest night of my life. We were married on April 7, 1984. Bobby M, I love you up to the sky. Thank you for all the laughter and the love, and for standing by me at the end. Tessa and Riley, I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you. I wish you such good things. May you, every day, connect with the brilliancy of your own spirit. And may you always remember that obstacles in the path are not obstacles, they ARE the path.

I believe we are each of us connected to every person and everything on this Earth, that we are in fact one divine organism having an infinite spiritual existence. Of course, we may not always comprehend that. And really, that's a discussion for another time. 

So let's cut to the chase: 

I was given the gift of life, and now I have to give it back. This is hard. But I was a lucky woman, who led a lucky existence, and for this I am grateful. I first got sick in January 2010. When the cancer recurred last year and was terminal, I decided to be joyful about having had a full life, rather than sad about having to die. Amazingly, this outlook worked for me. (Well, you know, most of the time.) 

Meditation and the study of Buddhist philosophy also helped me accept what I could not change. At any rate, I am at peace. And on that upbeat note, I take my mortal leave of this rollicking, revolving world-this sun, that moon, that walk around Green Lake, that stroll through the Pike Place Market, the memory of a child's hand in mine. 

My beloved Bob, Tessa, and Riley. My beloved friends and family. How precious you all have been to me. Knowing and loving each one of you was the success story of my life. Metaphorically speaking, we will meet again, joyfully, on the other side. 

Beautiful day, happy to have been here.

XOXO, Jane/Mom


(Seattle-based author and editor Jane Catherine Lotter had many accomplishments in her life — notably, a weekly humor column called “Jane Explains” and a recently published comic novel, The Bette Davis Club)

-Ed

Resources		View Sympathy Flowers	Locate Old Friends	Newspaper Archive to 1690	Find Death Certificates

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark

Obituary

Guest Book

• "Feel you were with us last evening at Pier 23, for the San..."
  - Joe Owen

View Sign

More Photos

View all 2 photos

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred's personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy's wife, Sara Morgan Clark. Fred's back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn't abide self important tight *censored*. Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician's outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate. His final wishes were "throw the bums out and don't elect lawyers" (though it seems to make little difference). During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, "he was often wrong, but never in doubt". When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower - on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French - the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don't go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives. No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred's life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information. Fred's ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years. Additionally, all of Fred's friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, "Fred who?"

Published in Richmond Times-Dispatch on July 9, 2006

- See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?pid=18382676#fbLoggedOut

Resources		View Sympathy Flowers	Locate Old Friends	Newspaper Archive to 1690	Find Death Certificates

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark

Obituary

Guest Book

• "Feel you were with us last evening at Pier 23, for the San..."
  - Joe Owen

View Sign

More Photos

View all 2 photos

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred's personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy's wife, Sara Morgan Clark. Fred's back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn't abide self important tight *censored*. Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician's outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate. His final wishes were "throw the bums out and don't elect lawyers" (though it seems to make little difference). During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, "he was often wrong, but never in doubt". When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower - on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French - the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don't go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives. No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred's life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information. Fred's ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years. Additionally, all of Fred's friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, "Fred who?"

Published in Richmond Times-Dispatch on July 9, 2006

- See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?pid=18382676#fbLoggedOut

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred's personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy's wife, Sara Morgan Clark. Fred's back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn't abide self important tight *censored*. Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician's outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate. His final wishes were "throw the bums out and don't elect lawyers" (though it seems to make little difference). During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, "he was often wrong, but never in doubt". When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower - on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French - the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don't go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives. No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred's life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information. Fred's ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years. Additionally, all of Fred's friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, "Fred who?"

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred's personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy's wife, Sara Morgan Clark. Fred's back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn't abide self important tight *censored*. Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician's outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate. His final wishes were "throw the bums out and don't elect lawyers" (though it seems to make little difference). During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, "he was often wrong, but never in doubt". When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower - on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French - the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don't go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives. No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred's life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information. Fred's ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years. Additionally, all of Fred's friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, "Fred who?"