Tuesday, July 15, 2014

When in Doubt...Rattle On

Being chronologically gifted comes with its downsides.  Among them are:
  • Forgetting where you left things you use regularly, such as glasses or keys.
  • Forgetting names of acquaintances or blocking one memory with a similar one, such as calling a grandson by your son’s name.
  • Occasionally forgetting an appointment.
  • Having trouble remembering what you’ve just read, or the details of a conversation.
  • Walking into a room and forgetting why you entered.
  • Becoming easily distracted.
  • Not quite being able to retrieve information you have “on the tip of your tongue.
But the experts say that's normal, so relax and forget about dementia.

But darn it, those brain burps sure are annoying.

What bothers me most is when I'm having a conversation with someone, or often a small group of people, and when it finally comes my turn ...and I'll all primed to make a powerful point....I suddenly forget what I was going to say. I draw a complete blank....and it usually takes a good long 15 or 20 seconds for the thought to come to me....

Well, if that ever happens to you....  instead of saying something like, pardon me, I'm having one of those "old codger moments"...my brain suddenly went completely blank......Or, even worse, allow the conversation to stop completely while you wait for your brain to get back into gear...

try an old radio announcer trick and ...vamp.
Ed and Barry calling UNC baseball game for WCHL

That's what we used to call it when we were describing something like a rain delay during a baseball game, or a parade or any live event that has moments when there's no action. Because the first thing you learn in radio is that silence is deadly. 

Perhaps that is also the best way to approach those brain freeze moments.

Try it. 

Next time it happens to you, instead of pausing to wait for the original thought to return...vamp:

 "It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs."

"The average life span of a major league baseball is 7 pitches."

"The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie" (Thus the name of the Don McLean Song)

"Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating."

"Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th"

"The Eisenhower Interstate Highway system requires that one mile in every 5 must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies"

By this time, your original thought will have returned and you can continue with your conversation.

But, you say, "What if I can't remember those facts?"

They are so "out in left field" that I can almost promise that you will remember at least 3 of them, probably more. And I'll prove it.

Right now...without looking...see how many you can remember?

See. I told you.

"Keep those cards and letters coming folks."