Sunday, March 22, 2015

"Children are the rainbow of life; Grandchildren are the pot of gold." -Irish Blessing

Bob Ellis reports that his Eleven year old grandson David, who is in the 5th grade made all A's on his report card!  His lowest grade all year was a 97!

Bob is rightly proud as can be of David!

As a matter if fact, reports of brilliant grandchildren have been flooding into the corporate offices here at the CHS54 complex for several years now...which leads me to a favorite theory of mine about this new generation.
The "WE" generation?

But first, no one knows what to call it, (the new generation) because it doesn't have a name yet.  I don't know who, or how, generations get their names, but Mary Meehan, writing in Forbes Magazine last year suggests the name "WE" Generation, because the kids now coming up are so digitally "connected" to each other...(social media, iPhones, etc...)

Meehan is not sure how the various generation's names finally "stick," but lists them in more or less their official order:
Matures

Matures. Born on or before 1945, Matures lived through (some of ) the Depression and WWII, events that marked all who lived through the 30s and 40 with an outlook of uncertainty.
Baby Boomers

Baby Boomers. Born between 1946 and 1964, the fifties post-war era of Baby Boomers’ youth was a time of massive growth and prosperity. As they grew up, especially in the 60s, this huge age cohort took part in a massive rebellion against all the rules and regulations their parents struggled hard for.
Gen Xers

Gen Xers were born between 1965 and 1977. There were fewer of them than there were Baby Boomers, and while living in the shadow of Boomers, it felt harder to know or understand them. Hence the name that caught on for this group has an X, signifying an unknown.


Millennials were born between 1978 and 1995, as a new millennium was dawning. The world flattened and globalization exploded.

Meehan writes that our youngest generation, those born after 1995, haven't lived long enough to have done anything that has defined them so far.  "However, a number of names have already been suggested:  Digitals, iGen, Selfies, Tweenials, Hashtagers, Homelanders, Evernets, Plurals, Globalists, and 20firsters."

Now, about that theory of mine:
Baby Boomers
I would never question the wisdom of Mother Nature; but I believe that during the hectic days of WW2 she was having to work so hard and fast, grinding out newborns that the quality of her work suffered a bit.  (Now, don't get me wrong, there were some great ones that came off the assembly line during those years, but there were more than usual factory rejects  that slipped through.) I believe we can all agree to that.





Now (and this is my theory)...I'm convinced that Mama Earth is in the process of "making up" for
that oversight by turning out the smartest and finest batch of future Americans in our nation's history; which is exactly what it's going to take to save this country.



-Ed

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Ate Up With Dumb

...whatever
 I had to search "Street Slang" to find an expression strong enough to express my anger over the stupidity of our Federal Government. And I think that one comes pretty close.

Linda and I filed our 1014 taxes today. We always like to do it early in case we have have a little bit of money coming back to us (we didn't) and to get all that paperwork the Hell out of the way.

I consider myself a pretty even person, but honestly, tax time is the one time of the year that for at least several days in March, I am certifiably  BAT GUANO CRAZY!

I'm working on my problem. For example I try to think positively by concentrating on of some of the GOOD things the government does with the money it takes from me.

For example:

$171,000 To Study How Monkeys Gamble


$856,000 To Film Mountain Lions Running On Treadmills



$378,000 Synchronized Swimming For Sea Monkeys


 
Ready for his massage
$50,000 For Swedish Massages For Bunnies



$325,000 For the National Science Foundation

Robotic Squirrel (Left)
to develop a robotic squirrel to observe how rattlesnakes react


$800,000 SPENT BY NIH 


Well finally, I thought I'd found something that would make me feel better about giving my money to Uncle Sam.  After all, we had (and are still having) that awful Ebola scare, and that takes money to fight. And I'm personally real anxious for the National Institutes of Health to find a cure for it, especially since those infected patients are being brought to the nearby Maryland NIH facility for treatment...

where my next door neighbor, the Doctor, works.

But SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

That particular $800,000 was not spent on Ebola.  Not even on looking for the common cold.

Noooooooo.......it was spent to make a video game about FOOD FIGHTS! 

Vegetable arguments between parents and their children!

SHAZAM!



SHAZAM!


 Back to the rubber room.

 -Ed

Friday, March 13, 2015

Bye Bye Miss American Pie...Again

Site near Clear Lake, IOWA where Buddy Holly's plane crashed

Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die



Don McLean
Don McLean wrote that song, and most people
Buddy Holly
believe it refers to the day Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper died in a plane crash near Clear Lake, IOWA in 1959.


Some think it refers to Elvis' untimely death.

Whatever, McLean has remained elusive about it, and said around 1971 or so soon after the record was released that he  will reveal the mystery in April of 2015. That's next month!

Whoop De Doo!

Talk about bad timing. Who cares now.
Marvin Gaye's Daughter and wife

Anyone who's been paying attention realizes that the music actually died last Wednesday, March 11, 2015 when a jury of 12 clueless (citizens who are too dumb to get out of jury duty) awarded the late Marvin Gaye's family 7 million dollars for recording a song that they concluded sounded like one of Marvin Gaye's hits.

Duh!

Almost ALL pop songs are related and sound similar to other pop songs. After all, there are only 8 notes in the scale and usually only 4 or 5 chords that are pleasing to Westerners ears, so songwriters are rather limited to beat, tempo and a few other "tricks." A good lawyer would have no trouble finding enough common notes and beats to convince a brain dead jury that plagiarism has been committed. 

Country music writers and musicians have never even bothered much with thinking up tricks. They just shuffle around a few words like, Mamma, Drunk, Jail, Honky Tonk, Wanna, Oh Ohhhhh, Baby,Yeah and Girl, and paste it over the same four chords.

The worst "borrowers" of others songs are (were) the classical composers. They thought nothing of outright thievery of melodies, especially folk songs. If you compare the final bars of 90 percent of those big, showy,  symphonies....you'll notice that they are so similar that they've become cliches....."Da DUM.....DUM...DUMM......DUMM,TA DUMMNNNNNNNNNNN!

But fortunately,  music composers of that day never made enough money to attract the attention of  lawyers.

If the Marvin Gaye verdict is allowed to stand...any musician, writer or performer, who ever writes another song is either insane or stoned out of his mind.

Not with that seven million dollar  judgement hanging over his head. 

Bye Bye again Miss American Pie

I mean it this time. The good old boys and I were drinking whiskey and rye and  I drove my Chevy off the levee.

Tell my baby not to wait for me at the honky tonk because the news today is heavy

The verdict is in, and seven mil it was so I can't write songs no more, even if I wanna...

For music, today was the final nail.

Record another song, and I'll go to jail.

Ohhhh Baby, Ohhhh girl, Ohhhhh Mamma... 

"Da DUM.....DUM...DUMM......DUMM,TA DUMMNNNNNNNNNNN!

Music and Lyrics by 

-Ed 

Sunday, March 08, 2015

Space Update

 I was hoping to have the answer by now to the question, "What are those 2 mysterious lights on the "Dwarf Planet Ceres?"
Well, after traveling more than seven years, NASA now says that their DAWN spacecraft is in orbit around Ceres...but wouldn't you know it...it's cameras are facing the wrong side...so we'll have to wait a little longer to get a close up of those wierd lights.  Hopefully, not another 7 years though.

Unless, of course, they discover that there are two little green men pointing flashlights at us, then it might take that long to think up a good explanation for that.

NASA promises to make some kind of announcement "in a few weeks."

Meanwhile, according to the Associated Press, 


Parkes Radio Telescope
"A mystery ‘alien’ radio signal from space has been captured ‘live’ for the first time by radio dishes here on Earth – but the source is still unknown.
Astronomers have speculated the signals could come from evaporating black holes, or even from distant alien civilizations.
The high-energy radio bursts last for just a few milliseconds, but their sources are thought to emit as much energy in that time as the Sun does in an entire day.
The source of the signal captured by CSIRO’s Parkes radio telescope in Australia could be as distant as 5.5 billion light years away.
‘Fast radio bursts’ last for mere milliseconds, and were first discovered in 2007 – but no scientists have ever intercepted one happening ‘live’ before.
The new discovery brings us a step closer to understanding the phenomenon.
Lasting only milliseconds, the first such radio burst was discovered in 2007 by astronomers combing the Parkes data archive for unrelated objects.
Six more bursts, apparently from outside our galaxy, have now been found with Parkes and a seventh with the Arecibo telescope in Puerto Rico.
‘These bursts were generally discovered weeks or months or even more than a decade after they happened! We’re the first to catch one in real time,’ said Emily Petroff, a PhD candidate."


Darn, things are happening so fast...I'm still trying to figure out who moved the rock...captured by the Rover that took these pictures some time ago.


The Martian self-materializing rock



Stay tuned.

And stay safe.



I am.









-Ed



Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Be Sure to Drink Your Ovaltine

Well, it may not look, and act, like Spring, but it must be, because the first Spring "LDL" luncheon event is about to happen!

Jerry Gaudet reports:




This month's "LDL" (Let's do lunch) will be held on
Tuesday, March 10, 2015, 11:30 AM
at "Jimmies" Restaurant in Mint Hill.
This is your invitation to join us. Spread the word! Invite other classmates to come! Even better, bring someone with you! Be sure YOU, come!

Charlie Willis will be hosting this month.  Come see what he has 
in store for us.


By the way, if you didn't recognize those kids in their winter coats at the top of this page....here's a clue:

Yep, you're right!  It's Ralphie and his buddies!

Incidentally, if you happen to be visiting Cleveland any time soon, it might be fun to visit his house.  

 A Christmas Story House, now restored to its movie splendor, is open year round to the public for tours. Directly across the street from the house is the official A Christmas Story House Museum, which features original props, costumes and memorabilia from the film, as well as hundreds of rare behind-the-scenes photos. Among the props and costumes are the toys from the Higbee’s window, Randy’s snowsuit, the chalkboard from Miss Shields’ classroom and the family car. After reliving A Christmas Story at Ralphie’s house don’t forget to visit the museum gift shop for your own Major Award Leg Lamp and other great movie memorabilia. You can even shop through our online gift shop here. Proceeds from the gift shop help support and maintain A Christmas Story House and Museum

But, by all means, plan to attend the LDL luncheon on March 10th!
 "I triple dog dare you!"

-Ed 

Monday, March 02, 2015

Tomorrow's News Today!

Goddess Ceres
 Ceres was the Roman Goddess of Agriculture.

She's back in the news because there's a small planet named after her with the politically incorrect classification, Dwarf Planet.  It was discovered in 1801 by Giuseppe Piazzi, when old fashioned freedom of speech still existed in this country.

What's left of our once robust space program, NASA, took time off from its main focus, (Muslim Outreach), to send a small rocket  named DAWN, to Ceres, no one is quite sure why, but serendipity happens, and low and behold, that little bugger actually found something:

Two mysterious lights!!


Ceres
DAWN  won't be close enough to find out exactly what they are until sometime later this week or next.

So, as a public service, your lovable webmaster has diligently searched the web and found the answer even before DAWN checks in with some cock-a-mamie answer that our Government Cover Up Artists can come up with, like reflections from salt deposits or something.

My source is the website called UFO Sightings Daily


"Scientists are baffled at what it could be, but let me shed some light on it, no pun intended. The light is white, like city lights, not orange of red like a volcano. That rules out volcano. The light is not one, but two. You will see the two glowing objects have different shapes. The largest is a white flowing square, the smaller is a triangle. Still think it's a volcano? Ceres is the largest object in the asteroid belt and is only 950km in diameter. These are massive doors that open to allow ships in and out. Yes, I'm saying Ceres was turned into an alien space station...where they live inside...underground where it's safe. Its surface covered in dust, dirt, that protects the station below from attacks, meteorites, and radiation.  Death Star comes to mind?"

Some other revelations by that website from older NASA photos  everyone else missed!

Woman on Mars

Rabbit on Mars


Squirrel on Mars


So, Now we know. Ceres is a space station!!

Laugh, if you want to, but I believe it!

Oh, and by the way, I think OBAMA does love this country.
 -Ed