Monday, June 01, 2015

We're Surrounded!

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a gigantic Nursing Home!

Everywhere I turn I see white haired people; many of them with young faces.

I'm not talking about gray headed.  I'm talking about WHITE HEADED!

Gray headed people don't really have gray hair.

 It just looks like it.  The hairs which have lost their trytophan (meaning "turned white") are simply mixed with those still maintaining their pigmentation.

I learned this from a scholarly article I read while researching this subject. I also learned that in England, it's spelled grey. Frankly, it was the second more boring thing I have ever read.  The first, was a very long treatise on "Why Dogs Bark," which after many pages of survey results concluded on the last sentence of the last paragraph of the last page: "Just For the Hell of it."

Bernie Sanders of RI
So,that's it for research. I don't need no stinking research. I'm full of......common sense.  And since it's obvious that White Hair is so much more sophisticated, striking and good looking than "mousy gray hair" (like mine) I'm convinced that somewhere there exists a hair coloring product (much like "man tan" for the head)  that turns one's locks a beautiful white overnight...and everybody knows about it but me!  I'm  confident that when I finally discover it,  I will be required to sign an agreement not to reveal its existence to any tattoo phobic troglodyte like myself who has totally dropped out of Modern American Culture, doesn't go to movies, doesn't watch TV and doesn't even know who the Hell the Rolling Stones are.

More Famous Whities

Dick Van Dyke

Col Sanders

Steve Martin

Julian Assange (of Wikileakes)

Bill Clinton
Don King