Things Yankees Never Say

"Yes, Ma’am. Thank you very much." "I haven’t been bowling all week!" "I already have too many black turtleneck sweaters and chocolate brown jackets." "Amen." "I’m in no hurry. Let me put on some coffee and we’ll chat a while." "Don’t the magnolia trees in my backyard smell wonderful?" "I am so glad to be back from my visit to the South. People are so much nicer here." "Y’all look like you might be lost. May I help?" "Oh, Mom! You must be outrageously angry if you used the ‘F’ word." "I see you are only buying three items. Why don’t you go in front of me?" "It’s no bother. It’s just good old Yankee hospitality." "Oh, I don’t want to be pretentious – I’ll take whatever [coffee blend] [scotch] [martini] [beer] [cigar] you have to offer." "We could never eat it all ourselves, so we brought you some squash, tomatoes and beans from our garden." "We were just out for a stroll and saw the lights and decided to stop by and say, ‘hello.’" "Okay, so maybe we have accents too." "Honey, have you seen my white cotton socks? I absolutely refuse to go out in shorts with dark socks on!" "Howdy!" "Pass the butter beans, please." "May I please have more grits?" "I'm fixing to go to the store. Do y’all want anything?" -Again, thanks to the internet. Ed